fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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