I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
