we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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