Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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