Me too!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
