It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
