My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
