my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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