It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
