No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
