I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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