I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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