I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
