Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
