My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
