I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
whose parrot is this?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
