We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
