A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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