"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Still dying that you shit outside
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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