he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
