I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
