Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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