Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
