I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
