Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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