we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
