Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
