The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Actions speak louder than pants.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
do nipples grow back?
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