Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
