is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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