what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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