I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
