Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
