I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
