the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
well you can't waste a boner
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
