I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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