She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
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