so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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