You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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