closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
