do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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