I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
