I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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