you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
