Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
