i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
