"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
