Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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