there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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