Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
