Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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