yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
