Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
