If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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