We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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