Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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