I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
