I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
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he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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