bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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