well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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