at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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