if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
