I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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